HELP!!...I Can't stop buying Tents : A Gear Buyers Guide..For Men.


In the UK, there are 3 addictions that are ruining the country as we speak. Alcohol, Nicotine, and the third, silent killer...Tents.

My Back Garden. Yesterday.


Only two of the above are actual addictions, but for campers, walkers and all round general outdoors enthusiasts, gear buying is both an integral part of their passion, and also often, the Albatross around their neck.

Summer gear, Winter gear, lightweight gear, family camping gear, gear for the Dog, gear to store your gear in.

We love it. Buying things. We can get a tent that costs £400 and still feel the need to catch the elusive 'Tiger Paws' on Ebay, which is worth £20, but often goes to £40-50.  Why would you ever need it?

We walk into Go Outdoors with a budget. We feel like Kings. We swan around that shop like we're 20 year veteran Sherpas, off soon to lead some rich oil magnates into Hell.

How we see ourselves



How the World sees us.

  "WHAT??? They have a sale on neoprene underpants, and freeze dried semolina pudding???"
You walk out of the shop with that 'we can manage Dear' look on your face and the growing feeling of dread about the acute buyers remorse you're going to have to wade through later. 

We prattle on about the 'balance between weight and functionality', we buy survival kits that B.A. Baracus would find 'a bit over the top (fool)', and we spend countless hours watching others on Youtube, use the gear we still wish we had, doing the things we wish we had time for, while our aforementioned Tent and Survival kit sit in our specially prepared 'outdoors storage facility' (cardboard box) in the spare room.

Often, I justify it like this....

You can go shopping with your other half. They pick up a coat or something. "What do you think of this?"
Before all else, you check out the price tag.
'£250'
You don't say "HOW MUCH??"
YOU SAY..."How very nice Dear. It would look marvelous on your slinky figure".



You say this not because you're worrying about the price. You're not concerned that she has three unbelievably similar coats that only a specialist in forensics could tell the difference between.
YOU SAY IT TO GET OUT OF THAT SWEATSHOP NIGHTMARE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

And the moral is..If you want something new that seems like a lot of money for what it is.....just buy it.  THAT'S WHAT SHE DOES.

Comments

  1. At last a fellow sufferer!

    Surely there are voluntary organisations out there that can help me to rehabilitate?

    I bought TWO tents last yeat, and went camping twice for a week at a time.

    I bought both a Trangia mini AND a Pocket Rocket...

    HELP!

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    Replies
    1. Ha ha. My current thinking is that buying a caravan would cost a few hundred. That way I can buy several tents and still be in the black. It doesn't help that I don't actually want a caravan however. As for your purchases, I'd say that you've got a decent emergency backup for your tent and cooking equipment. That might make me an enabler though. My advice is join one of the T.A. groups. Either is fine, the Territorial Army, or Tents Annonymous. They both do roughly the same thing. Thanks for the comment :)

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